Editorial Report 2

In this blog I will continue my process of editing my essay. I will focus on a different section than I did the last time and will again look at content and form. I will show the pre and post edit version of the same section. This editorial report will focus on the pro-freeway argument section.

This section didnt require much content revision. I did however work on the same things as I had in the previous section. I looked at trying to clarify some sections of content where it was not clear what I was talking about. In addition I looked at the meaning of some words and changed them to better fit the flow of the paragraph. I still need to add in direct quotes probably in order to directly support my position.

The form of this section was altered significantly however. I split up the section into separate paragraphs that were easier visually to comprehend. I also changed the sentence flow of some sentences to get them to make logical sense. I also had to add in some sections to clarify the meaning of some sentences, this helped the sentences flow better and allowed the reader to clearly follow my thoughts.

Here is the pre-edit version:

"The merits of building a new transportation corridor are always high, this is especially true with a corridor of high caliber like the South Mountain Freeway. Large transportation projects tend to spur regional development. People in the Ahwahtukee region of Phoenix desire to have regional economic growth; one of the ways that this economic growth could come about is through the construction of a corridor that promotes growth. Alongside any freeway project or rail corridor, businesses or new homes get built to take advantage of the easy access. The south mountain freeway would not only bring new businesses to the existing communities but also would pump in money to the local Phoenix economy though the means of construction and new businesses, in some cases this economic impact could be in the billions of dollars. Economic benefits are not the only benefits received from the construction and existence of a freeway, specifically the South Mountain Freeway. The main reason for building a freeway is to alleviate a traffic issue and make travel between two places easier. Phoenix has a chronic traffic jam issue, especially on its core freeways of I-17 and I-10. Both these freeways are major routes for the city, the metropolitan area, the State of Arizona, and even the entire nation. Thousands of trucks crowd these freeways that are often filled with cars trying to get home from work or trying to go into or out of downtown Phoenix. Phoenix rush hour gets immensely worse when a small accident happens somewhere along one of the major freeways. A small accident can turn a normally 30 minuet trip into a 2 hour trip waiting in stopped traffic. Not only do these delays happen regularly but unfortunately they have become a natural part of Phoenix driving. This is why the L202 must be completed; Phoenix lacks a true southern bypass around the city, this means that all trucks and cars just passing through Phoenix get stuck traveling directly through the mess of traffic backups that occur regularly on Interstate 10. The South Mountain Freeway would function as a bypass of downtown for trucks and people traveling to California. In addition it would provide residents on the south east side of Metro Phoenix, easy access to the west side of Metro Phoenix, where many of the sporting venues are located. Essentially the construction of this freeway would make life for all residents of Arizona much easier."

Here is the Post Edit version:

"The merits of building a new transportation corridor are always high, this is especially true with a corridor of high caliber like the South Mountain Freeway. Large transportation projects such as rail or highways tend to spur regional development. People in the Ahwahtukee and Laveen regions of Phoenix desire to have regional economic growth; one of the ways that this economic growth could come about is through the construction of a corridor that promotes growth. Alongside any freeway project or rail corridor, businesses or new homes get built to take advantage of the easy access. The South Mountain Freeway would not only bring new businesses to the existing communities but also would pump in money to the local Phoenix economy though the means of construction and new businesses, in some cases this economic impact could be in the billions of dollars. Economic benefits are not the only benefits received from the construction and existence of a freeway, specifically the South Mountain Freeway.

 The main reason for building a freeway is to alleviate a traffic issue and make travel between two places easier. Phoenix has a chronic traffic jam issue, especially on its core freeways of I-17 and I-10. Both of these freeways are major routes for the city, the metropolitan area, the State of Arizona, and even the entire nation. Thousands of trucks crowd these freeways that are often also filled with cars trying to get home from work or trying to go into or out of downtown Phoenix. In addition Phoenix rush hour gets immensely worse when a small accident happens somewhere along one of the major freeways. A small accident can turn a normally 30 minuet trip into a 2 hour trip stuck waiting in stopped traffic. Not only do these delays happen regularly, but unfortunately they have become a natural part of Phoenix driving. This is why the L202 must be completed; Phoenix lacks a true southern bypass around the city. Without a bypass all of the trucks and cars just passing through Phoenix get stuck traveling directly through the mess of traffic backups that occur regularly on Interstate 10. The South Mountain Freeway would function as a bypass of downtown for trucks and people traveling to California. In addition it would provide residents on the south east side of Metro Phoenix (Mesa, Chandler and Gilbert), easy access to the west side of Metro Phoenix (Avondale, Glendale, Goodyear), where many of the sporting venues are located. Essentially the construction of this freeway would make life for all residents of Arizona much easier."